This month marks your 7th birthday. Seven years old, my little April fool. You are my oldest so every year I am hit with the realization that we are entering a new time in our lives. I am not going to lie, it is extraordinarily hard watching you grow. I was practically a child myself when you were born. That already seems like a lifetime ago. What was once Diego and Cars is now Legos and Ninjas. You’ve grown into such an amazing being. I knew from the moment I laid eyes on you that you were an old soul. You are wise and caring and so intuitive. You were made to be a big brother and one day you will make an amazing father.
We locked eyes as soon as you were delivered and I cried out “That’s my son!“. I’ve never felt anything as monumental and fulfilling as I did in that moment.
Something you don’t know is that after you were born, and we went home, I got very bad postpartum depression. That is when a mommy has a baby and her hormones don’t level out like they should and it makes things icky for a while. I was 18, single, and living at home with your Nana. Things weren’t the way I imagined they would be when I was growing up. If there was one thing I could have told myself then it would be that everything would turn out alright. When I had feelings that my life was over it was only because I couldn’t see that it had really just begun.
You were the one to mold me, challenge me, teach me patience, and to show me the meaning of love. We grew together. We learned together. I like to joke and say that you are my pancake because “you always mess up your first” but that is far from the truth. You are more incredible than I ever thought possible.
I want you to know that I’m trying my hardest to do everything right. What is new for you is new for me as well. We have been through so much in seven years but you are my constant and I hope that I can always be yours. I love you so, so much.
Happy Birthday, Brady!
(previously “Mama”, but you’re kind of over that now)
Next be sure to stop by my friend Kristy’s blog to read her April letter here!